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EditCreating a Relaxing Atmosphere
- Make sure the room is comfortable. It is essential that the room is comfortable for conducting your massage. If your partner/client feels uncomfortable throughout the massage, they will not enjoy it as much!
- Make sure they have somewhere comfortable to lie down, such as a bed, a soft rug or a proper massage table. Cover the surface with soft towels to keep them clean and free of oil.
- Make sure the room is nice and warm. Remember that your partner/client will be partly undressed for the duration of the massage, so you don't want them to be cold. Use a space heater if necessary.
- Make sure the room you use for the massage is somewhere private where you will not be disturbed by any other people, children or animals.
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Light some candles. There's something very relaxing about candles, so it's a good idea to light a couple around the room.
- If possible, turn the lights down low or off completely and work only by candlelight. You want the person receiving the massage to be so relaxed that they're almost asleep by the end, so the darker it is the better!
- Use candles with relaxing (but not overpowering) scents, such as lavender or sea breeze, to contribute to the overall experience.
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Play soothing music. Playing some soothing music can contribute to the calm and relaxing atmosphere of the massage. Gentle classical music, or sounds from nature are both good options.
- If possible, try to find out what type of music your partner/client enjoys. Remember that the massage is about them, not you, so you should try to cater to their tastes.
- Don't play the music too loud, it should be playing very softly in the background. It should add to the experience, not take away from it.
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Use a massage oil. It is essential to use oil when giving a massage. It helps your hands to glide easily over the skin, so you don't cause pulling, pinching or any kind of pain to your partner/client.
- There are plenty of fancy (and expensive) store bought oils available, but any kind of natural oil will do just fine. For example, if you have sunflower or grape seed oil in your kitchen, you can use them for your massage. Jojoba and almond oils are also very effective and have a pleasant aroma.
- You can add a few drops of essential oil to your massage oil. You should use pure (natural and unadulterated) essential oils, not chemical perfume oils. Be aware that essential oils can penetrate the bloodstream, so choose wisely: opt for relatively gentle oils like lavender or orange. However, you should consult a medical professional first if your partner/client is pregnant or has any serious medical conditions.
- Try to warm the oil and your hands slightly before applying the oil to your partner/client's skin. Cold oil/hands are not conducive to a relaxing massage!
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Have plenty of towels on hand. Make sure you have plenty of fresh, clean towels on hand for use during the massage.
- First you will need to cover the surface you are working on with towels in order to protect them from the massage oil (which can stain).
- Secondly, you will need towels to cover the your partner/client's body as you work on them. Ideally they should be stripped down to their underwear to leave as much skin exposed as possible. Then you can cover them with a towel to protect their modesty and to keep them warm while you are working on each body part.
- Thirdly, you will need extra towels to wipe the excess oil off you hands during and after the massage.
EditGetting the Right Technique
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Begin with the feet. Start massaging the soles of the feet by wrapping both hands around the foot and using your thumbs to apply pressure.
- Pay special attention to the arch of each foot, as this area tends to accumulate a lot of tension, but also massage the heel and the ball of the foot.
- When you get to the toes, grab each one individually and give it a gentle pull, this helps to release any tension.
- Be aware that not everyone likes having their feet touched, and some people are very ticklish, so ask your partner/client before you touch their feet![1]
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Work your way up the legs. When you're done with the feet, move onto the back of the legs. Give each leg a couple of long, relaxing strokes to begin with, all the way from the calf to the upper thigh.
- Apply light pressure with both hands, smoothly stretching the skin. This technique is known as effleurage, and is a good way to ease into the massage.[2]
- Then, cover the leg you're not currently working on with a towel and focus on massaging the calf of one leg. Use a kneading technique (like kneading bread) to work the calf muscle.
- Move up towards the thigh and repeat the kneading technique here. Then press the heel of your hand into the skin and very slowly move it along the thigh. You should always move in the direction of the heart.
- Cover the leg you just finished working on with a towel (to keep in heat) and repeat the massage on the other leg.
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Move from the lower to the upper back. Use the effleurage technique described above to perform long, soft strokes, going from the top of the glutes to the base of the neck.
- Place the palm of each hand on either side of the spine and work your way up, keeping your hands parallel to one another. When you reach the top of the back, fan your hands outwards across the shoulders, as if outlining the top of a heart.
- Return to the lower back and use a kneading motion to work the large muscles on either side of the spine. These areas tend to build up a lot of tension, so make sure to spend some time here.
- Next, use a "press and release" technique to work your way up the back. This involves pressing your fingertips firmly into the flesh of the back before quickly releasing. When the pressure is released, your partner/client's brain will release a rush of pleasurable chemicals.
- When you get to the upper back, have your partner/client bend their elbows so their shoulder blades stick out. This will give you better access to the muscle around the edge of the shoulder blades, which tends to harbor a lot of tension and knots.[3]
- To work on the knots, use a thumb or single finger to press and release repeatedly around the problem area.
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Do the neck and shoulders. When you've finished with the shoulders, use the press and release technique to massage along the neck, all the way to the hairline. Remember to keep your hands on either side of the spine.
- Place a hand on either shoulder in the classic massage position and knead the thumbs deep into the muscles of the shoulders. Use your fingers for grip, but don't press them into the collarbone, as this can be painful.
- Now move around to stand in front of your client/partner's head, so their shoulders are facing you. Make a fist with each hand, then rub the knuckles gently but firmly across the tops of the shoulders, to release any tension,
- Next use your thumbs to press and release along the tops of the shoulders and up the back of the neck.
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Massage the hands and arms. When you're done with the neck and shoulders, move onto the arms, working on one at a time.
- Hold your partner/client's wrist in your left hand, so their entire arm is lifted from the bed. Then use your right hand to sweep along the back of the forearm, along the tricep and over the shoulder, coming back on the opposite side.
- Now, switch to holding their wrist in your right hand, then sweep your left hand along their forearm and bicep, then over the shoulder and down the opposite side.
- Place your partner/client's arm back on the bed, the use your fingers and thumbs to gently knead the forearms and upper arms.
- To massage the hands, take their hand in yours and massage the palm with your thumbs, using small circular motions. Then, take each finger in turn and slowly slide from the knuckles to the nail. Pull each finger firmly, but not so hard that you cause it to crack!
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End with the head. Ask your client/partner to flip over so you can work on the head and face. Give them a moment if they need to rearrange their towel.
- Use your thumbs to gently massage the top of the scalp. For added pleasure, use your nails to scratch slightly.
- Next, massage the folds and lobe of each ear between your thumb and forefinger. Then use your fingertips to gently swipe along the contours of the cheekbones and not.
- Put your hands beneath your partner/client's head and lift it slightly from the bed. Use your fingers to find the small hollows when the neck meets the base of the skull. Apply firm pressure with your fingertips, then release. Repeat several times.
- Put your hands underneath the jaw and pull the head gently upwards, to stretch the neck muscles. Now, gently press the center of the forehead (between the eyebrows) with your fingertips and release. Repeat for 30 seconds.
- Next use your fingertips to gently massage the temples, moving in slow circular motions. The temples are an important acupressure point, so this helps to relieve tension.
EditPerfecting the Massage
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Pay attention to knots. If the person you're working on has a lot of knots in their back, it's a good idea to work on them to try to release them.
- However, make sure to ask your partner or client first, as some people find this too painful and would rather not ruin their relaxing massage.
- The knots may feel like large, circular areas of tightness, or tiny bumps which almost feel like peas beneath the skin. Try to get directly on top of the knot, otherwise it can slip out from beneath your fingers.
- Apply increasing pressure to the knot, then rotate your thumb or finger to try to undo it. You may need to rotate in opposite directions in order to work it out fully.[5]
- Try not to get too involved in any deep tissue work though - this is best left to qualified massage therapists. Stick to what feels good for you partner/client.
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